you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
