Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
