cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize