ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
