Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
