I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
