I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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