season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
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My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Enjoy the penises
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think i got beer on your cat.
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