I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
