I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
