i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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