Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
