Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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