I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
