So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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