I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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