I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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