if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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