Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
