The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
