I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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