Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
