Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize