Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
