This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
