k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
