Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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