Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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