Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
