You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
