Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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