no, he came in my armpit
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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