Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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