he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
