I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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