if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We just shotgunned beers for America
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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