wat bout pragnant strippers??
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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