Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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