i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
