HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
