Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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