Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
