In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
