I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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