whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
