You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think im going to throw up on grandma
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And then the night went full on bisexual.