Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i barfeds in our rink
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We had sex on a dog bed..
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
