I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
