I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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