He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't deserve a penis
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
