sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
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They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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