I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
