Fuck appropriateness.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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