Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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