Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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