Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
