I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
