Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
