I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
