I wanna passion pit in your ass
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
